1. Â We Are a Real Family – We are not any less of a “real” family because our children are not biologically related to us. Really.
2. Â Adoption Parenting is HardÂ – Parenting is hard, but adoption parenting adds many layers. Â Parenting a child from hard places is hard. Â Parenting a child that has experienced a deep trauma is hard. Â Parenting child with a profound loss is hard.
3. Â Adoption Language MattersÂ – It matters how we speak about adoption. Â I’m not the PC police, but speaking about adoption in a negative way only perpetuates dumb adoption stereotypes. Â Where are their “real” parents? Are they “real” brothers and sisters? Ugh!
4. Adoption is Not the “Trendy” Thing to DoÂ – This is actually one of the most offensive things I have ever heard, “the in thing right now is International Adoption”. Â Just for the record, my children are not an accessory. No one in their right mind would add a child to their family because it’s trendy.
5. Â We Aren’t SaintsÂ – We are just normal people. Â Far, far from perfect. Â We struggle everyday with all the same things other normal parents struggle with.
6. Their Life Before They Joined our Family is Important– life for our children did not begin when they joined our family. Â Their life from conception to birth and beyond is very important. Â Just because we don’t know much about that time does not make it unimportant.
7. They Have a Hole We Can Never Fill– Adoption by its very nature has occurred because of a loss. Â Our children will always, in some way, carry that loss.
8. Â I Would Never Change the Way God Formed Our Family– I love our eclectic family. Â I have never for one minute wished to have any other kind of family. Â God’s plans are always so much bigger and better than anything I could dream up.
9. We Are the Lucky Ones– People often tell our kids that they are lucky, but they are wrong. Â We are the lucky ones.
10. Â Every Life is Precious – Every person matters and everyone deserves aÂ permanent and loving family. Â Everyone.
You also might enjoy 10 Things I Love About Adoption
This is part of the 10 in 10 series with iHN
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You have GOT to be kidding me! I wrote a long response and it got erased as I signed in. 🙁
In any case, I guess I would not say Adoption Parenting is Hard, because sometimes it is easier than bio-parenting (two of my adopted children are cases in point)….two others definitely illustrated the “can be hard” idea.
Jamie Worley says
You KNOW I love this post. And your heart for adoption and for your family.
This is great, Jen… I cannot believe that anyone would ever say adoption is “trendy” — wait – maybe I can believe that. People can be rude and insensitive sometimes. I admire you so much and am proud to call you friend.
Julie F says
Penny Woodin Rogers says
Fantastic points! THanks for sharing!
All very excellent points, Jen. And these can be gently brought up to people who have never adopted as casual conversations.
Thank you Mary! I appreciate you and your support 🙂
#11. Adoption can be done only to a CHILD. It makes me sick when I see people who have bought a dog say that they “adopted” it. An adopted child is not a pound puppy!!!
Love this and totally agree. I see #4 a lot and if people really new what was involved after bringing a child home, it wouldn’t be “trendy”.
I think what people see is an image but they don’t realize what’s involved in the background.